(no subject)

[jaina]

So there's this messageboard I visit on a regular basis. Today I scan the subject lines, and I see a post called, "Are You Suppose [sic] To Speak UP When You're [sic] Sister's Dating a Loser?" We get posts like this fairly often; people bitching about their friend's/sister's/whoever's slacker/druggie/alcoholic boyfriend. So I click on the post. And here's what I read:

Okay tell me if I'm in the wrong here people. My younger sister is dating a loser. What do I mean by a loser? He's not very good looking, he's not particularly intelligent, and he comes from a loser family from a losery tiny town. He's just so not worthy of her! And I'm not speaking as the proud, delusional sister here. My sister is really pretty and really smart. Even her friends are complaining cause they know she can do better than this guy she's been seeing. He's a nice guy, he's just...there's NOTHING THERE. Nothing special. My sister likes hanging out with him but she could do SO MUCH BETTER. She DID do so much better. Her last bf was infinitely better looking than this guy and in his first year of med school. She broke up with him and now she's with this freckly faced kid whose charm is totally lost on everyone but her.

So I'm wondering, as her sister is it my job to tell her she can do better than this guy or should i just stay out of it as long as he's a nice guy who treats her well?

I was a bit confused at first (and so were other posters). We thought perhaps she'd forgotten to articulate the actual qualities that made this guy a "loser." Did he use drugs, we asked? Is he a slacker who never does his work? Does he treat your sister badly? Oh no, we were assured, he treats her like a queen. And he's in college studying to become a teacher. But he's still a loser. And why exactly is he a loser?

"It's not his education that makes him a loser. It's the fact that he's not particularly bright or attractive or from a very good family. If he was good looking or intelligent or from a good family I could care less about him being a teacher."

And then there's this gem:

"I shouldn't have called him a loser. I just don't think he's good enough for my sister. She's smarter, she's better looking, and she's just as nice as him. I just wanted better for my sister but (as many of explained) I should focus on the fact that she's happy."

So there you have it. This girl's sister is smarter, better-looking, and a better conversationalist than her boyfriend, so therefore she shouldn't be with him because she "deserves better." This girl also feels the need to point out to us that her sister is usually "really shallow," as if that's something to be proud of. I left a politely outraged reply, but I really needed to vent my anger. Thank goodness for LJ, eh?

(I also loved the irony of the two grammar errors in the title of the post. This poster, btw, is in law school.)

I think I'm going to leave another reply pointing out that if the sister was with a guy who was smarter, better-looking, and from a better family than *she* was, then her theoretical boyfriend would be "settling" for *her,* and what would the boyfriend's family think of *that*?

Comments

[writingpathways.livejournal.com]

LOL. Thanks for the heads up. yikes. had to put in my two cents. I'm chalking it up to her being young, she's sounding very very young. not that's really an excuse but sometimes...

[ueberx.livejournal.com]

Sometimes people have to realize that it's none of their business, or that they are being idiots. If the sister likes him, let her go right ahead.

At least this person takes into account smarts, (although I'm not sure I would really trust them to measure someone's intelligence) as opposed to some really shallow people, who take only looks into account.