letters to nowhere

[jaina]

Dear The Future of US Men's Figure Skating, as anointed by one Scott Hamilton,

I would strongly suggest that you both realize that you're skating in front of rather a lot of people. And much as those people appreciate your clean jumps and fast spins and difficult footwork, they would also like to see your shining faces and your bright eyes and hey, maybe even a smile once in awhile. Those people aren't just window dressing, kiddos. Get your eyes off the ice. Look up. Connect with them. They'll love you for it.

Sincerely,
Me

Dear Ryan Bradley,

I love you, man. I can't believe you pulled off a competition program that made fun of other people's competition programs *and* had two quads in it. Please join a tour. I want to see you skate some more.

Here are some hugs,
Me

Dear Evan Lysacek,

Put on your long program costume. Now go stand in front of a full-length mirror. Now look at yourself, and consider, if you win an Olympic medal this year, that *this* is the picture that will follow you, all the rest of the days of your life. C'mon, Evan. Grey shirring and scrollwork shoulderpads? Really?

Think about it.

I've only got your best interests at heart,
Me

Johnny doesn't get a letter because he knows full well that from the waist up, he's apparently wearing one of Oksana Baiul's old costumes, and he absolutely glories in it. Jeremy doesn't get one either because he can actually dress himself. He can even pull off a vest without looking all Todd Eldredge about it, which *is* a feat.

Comments

[remba24.livejournal.com]

Ryan Bradley is my new skating hero. that routine was awesome. that sucks he's #1 alt. hope he sticks around for 2014.

[jainamsolo.livejournal.com]

I've loved Ryan Bradley for ages. :) On the one hand, I'm sad for him that he didn't make it. On the other hand, if he'd made the team, it's really unlikely he would've been a contender in Vancouver. He's never been consistent enough. So I can't feel too badly that it's Evan, Johnny, and Jeremy going. Doubt he'll stick around past this year as he's 26 already. :-/

[remba24.livejournal.com]

oh and totally agree with you about Evan's shirt. egads, the humanity!

[julietvalcouer.livejournal.com]

By "The Future of Mens' Figure Skating," do you mean Adam Rippon? Because...yawn, really.

I had hoped for better from Evan (and I do not understand his shoulder...cage...thingies. I DON'T CARE if Vera Wang designed them, that doesn't mean they're good!) But then again, last year he came up short at Nats and peaked at Worlds, so who knows. Mens's is either wide open, or a race for silver, depending on what shape Plushenko's in.

Johnny: Gay male ballet dancers are laughing at your outfits. Stop letting Oksana dress you in her castoffs. And thank you for emoting, but could you maybe try to find something that isn't so depressing to emote to? And notice there's a crowd waiting for you to skate, not watch you stand there looking scared while Galina babbles at you in Russian?

Jeremey: You're a good skater. I just wish you weren't so bland. Please to be taking showmanship lessons from Ryan Bradley. Please find the happy medium between Todd Elderidge and Johnny Weir.