it'll take them a month to count the blade marks up your back

[jaina]

Why why why did we think it would be a good idea to watch the Cutting Edge sequel? Whyyyyy?

THE PAIN OH GOD THE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE PAIN. IT HURTS US PRECIOUS.

Comments

[padawansguide.livejournal.com]

I was going to post about it but forgot. It was *SO* bad. I almost didn't make it all the way through. Bad bad bad bad bad. I love the original.

[brightcupenny.livejournal.com]

I didn't last five minutes; I was too busy yelling things like "This better not be senior nationals if she can win with doubles!" and "NO LYRICS IN SINGLES SKATING!" and "OMFG triple axel, I don't *think* so!" and "Why is the ice so scratched up, they should slide when they fall" and "Why are the scratching noises SO LOUD" and finally "Dear God, that isn't really Moira Kelly, is it?" and then I turned it off because I COULD NOT STAND IT anymore.

Waaah.

[padawansguide.livejournal.com]

No, Moira Kelly and DB Sweeny were not in it - which I can only think was a good career move, but could possibly have made it better.

I just wrote up a handy review/synopsis for you, so you don't have to try to watch it again.

So bad.

[brightcupenny.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh, bless your heart!

[writingpathways.livejournal.com]

What was that!?

I liked the boy.

But Colton Shore as Doug? Stepfanie Cramer as Kate? What crack were the casting directors smoking? The daughter, didn't grab me and the whole blonde bitch trying to keep her hooks in the idiot guy -- it was just SAD.

The only thing that scored the movie any points was the one 'toepick'.

I don't know why I watched it either.

[bailunrui.livejournal.com]

Because I am a masochist, I watched it all of the way through. It's not even in the same league as the first one. The thing that bugged me the most was the lighting for the rinks. Amateur competitions are not held in the dark!

[brightcupenny.livejournal.com]

God, yes, that too! And the bizarre bunting/draping things around the rink and the complete lack of audience and apparently the ice was made out of concrete because the skates were SO LOUD on the ice. And all the stuff I wailed about above. And all of that was in the first five minutes.

I need to go rewatch the original and get this terrible taste out of my mouth.

[vampiretheatre.livejournal.com]

Oh God. Those are two hours of your life you'll never have back!!

I saw a review in Entertainment Weekly of it, that was knocking all of the flaws (such as the ages being unrealistic, etc), stating what a bad idea the movie was, but then still giving it like 3 stars or something positive. Made no sense. I think they were trying to say that if you ignore everything that's wrong with it, its not that bad, but your post and comments seem to prove otherwise.

*shudders at the thought of the movie*

[brightcupenny.livejournal.com]

In the beginning, I hadn't realized the writers (it seems generous to call them that, since Chris pointed out they pretty much did a find-and-replace on the original script) were stupid enough to set this one at Torino. Hmmm, 2006-1992 = 14, so even if the daughter was conceived immediately after the long program (hee) she'd only be 13. And yet there was Christy Carlson Romano driving a car and drinking wine and talking about spending the rest of her life with stupid surfer boy.

[tenel.livejournal.com]

Like a good friend, I offer you the toepick to gouge your eyes out. :) You almost make me want to see the sequel just to mst it all the way through.

Go back and watch the pretty skating of Cutting Edge. *waves hand* There is no sequel.

[rosiewook.livejournal.com]

Okay. You should've known just from the advertising how bad it would be! I couldn't even get past that.

Listerine, honey. Just listerine that bad taste out of your mouth!

[brightcupenny.livejournal.com]

It's not even worth seeing it to MST. I bitched to julietvalcouer the whole way through, and I still had to put it on mute a *lot* and fast-forward several times.

[tirianmal.livejournal.com]

I blame Sasha Cohen.

[brightcupenny.livejournal.com]

For the win!

[vetgirlbeth.livejournal.com]

C my roomie is a fellow ice queen and knew all those little details that Ice skaters would know. We made merciless fun of it while multitasking stuff on our laptops, and it turned into a useable amusing experience. It would be impossible to watch straight and enjoy though. Sorry you had to experience that ;)

[brightcupenny.livejournal.com]

I did bitch to julietvalcouer the whole time, which helped some. Still didn't completely ease the pain. The inaccuracy and implausibility just *burns,* considering how easy it would be to change a few small things and make it 3000% more accurate.

[portnoyslp.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, it was a movie that you love and treasure, and the sequel was a made-for-basic-cable jaunt starring no one you'd ever heard of. There was no good to be had there.

On the bright side, they released a new DVD of the original film last month. Go get that instead. :-)

[brightcupenny.livejournal.com]

Well, it did have Christy Carlson Romano, aka the voice of Kim Possible. But uck, it was just so bad.

We should get the new DVD. Ours is starting to skip from repeated watchings.

[wendyhouse.livejournal.com]

okay, I know you're gonna have a conniption fit, but I've never seen the original.
I have the new one set up to TiVo sometime this week, because, well, Christy Carlson Romano goodness?

and apparently, I'm going to be sorry to watch it, but hey - I can watch it only half, with massive baby distraction. Will that make it better?

[brightcupenny.livejournal.com]

No, it will still be terrible. Make sure to get a good look at her costumes so you can mock them mercilessly!

You should really watch the original though. It's so damn good.

[lemurtanis.livejournal.com]

Good Christ, I didn't know they'd made a sequel! That's gotta be the fourth sign of the apocalypse. Invest in duct tape and bottled water now.

[brightcupenny.livejournal.com]

If all the lights are off in the Green Building, you may be right.

[julietvalcouer.livejournal.com]

Because we're so starved for figure skating movies we'll watch ANYTHING?

But yeah, this one kinda sucked. Big-time. "OMG, side-by-side triples in pairs? The danger! The innovation!" A 'big move' more implausible than the Pamchenko. And as my brother pointed out, a daughter who was apparently conceived about ten years before Doug and Kate even met.

[brightcupenny.livejournal.com]

Let's see--

- Ice Castles
- The Cutting Edge
- Apparently there was some Tai Babilonia made-for-TV biopic
- Does My Sergei count?
- There was that girl in The Mighty Ducks who was a figure skater
- Ice Princess
- The Cutting Edge 2

We've had two in the last two years, but if they keep being this crappy I'd rather there not be any!

And they just did the "big move" on the fly! Not five weeks of practice! HATE HATE HATE.

[julietvalcouer.livejournal.com]

Apparently there was some Tai Babilonia made-for-TV biopic

Oh, God, yes, there was. And I watched it. It was made in the '80s, and it was all about how she just fell apart and did drugs and became an alcoholic and brought strange men home and dated some guy who was on the Brady Bunch and then it was all better. The only redeeming quality was William Daniels (always gonna be John Adams in my mind) doing a very good take on John Nicks. And it gets points for a somewhat laughable scene with Tai, post-suicide-attempt, in the hospital, holding hands with Randy Gardner and going on about how they've never just held hands before. Nice naive '80s take, as if they were hoping for some faint hints of romance Tai would need a sex-change or Randy would need one of those orientation reallignment programs. (He's out now, though he wasn't at the time.)

I've never seen "My Sergei", so I don't know if it counts...read the book, though.

Oh, and "Go Figure", a Disney channel movie that has a figure skater having to join a hockey team to get a scholarship to an elite boarding school so she can train with the school's elite figure skating coach. Continues the rule that some ex-Olympian must make a cameo with Kristy Yamaguchi as herself. Basically, it's like they had rejected plot ideas for "Ice Princess" and figured hey, if we get a really cheap cast...

[(Anonymous)]

Well, you had Lynn Holly Johnson as a figure skater in the James Bond flick "For Your Eyes Only." Does that count?
Qui-Gon D

[jawajames.livejournal.com]

you know.. there is something worse than a sequel.. the direct-to-cable sequel.